Enough Time

I never seem to have enough time in my life. 24 hours is just too short a day for the life I live, which is usually at breakneck speed.

I have numerous material things to do, just like everyone else and I have my working world which can take up 10 hours in a day if I haven't earned enough to live on for the week and of course I have family which can eat into time too. But it is just so short a time for the rest of my word. I paint, sew, knit, weave, sculpt and write. I enjoy walking the hills and mountains and I love to swim in the sea. There is always something I haven't time to do and it is very frustrating.

Organisational skills are at zero currently so as a result I am in a muddle. On my desk is a years worth of receipts which I should be filling out for my tax form , on the same desk are half a dozen letters I haven't replied too, a series of commissions for portraits I have yet to get at and a mug of cold coffee that has mouldered over the last 3 weeks because I haven't had time to move it...to be honest simple forgetting but thats no excuse either.

Add to this lot I am a passionate reader, love my wargames on Evony and have to eat inbetween and love an hour shower or a four hour bath and time becomes very short indeed.

Ah yes there is also the social side of life and my personal life and they are as demanding as all the rest of it and so I find...time and I are not in sync.

So I stopped, I stood still and discovered that an awful lot of the time...I waste it worrying about not having it. This article or blog (what a name) is really an attempt to organise my mind into a positive frame so I can organise my time more effectively. I can see where I can make some time and I can see how to challenge a little of the wastage but then I will have to become very rigid in the application of time into my world.

That created another aspect to look at. I love doing things at my own pace and discovered that when I don't have to travel I will work through till 4am without even realising, sleep until 12 noon and think its early or go to bed at 10pm and get up at 5am and still feel fresh as a daisy and there is the rub. Time is not real, it is an invention of man to create a parameter, so we can all interelate with each other, become 'at one' in a similar zone of reality.

I have therefore decided to resign from time. I am being serious too, no more mondays or tuesdays ad infinitum with the exception of using it for connections with others, I shall simply have my own time. I shall sleep and wake at my own pace, work when I wish too and sleep when I need to and with the exception of my relation to the rest of the world I shall create my own timeline.

No more wishing it was friday because I will get paid...I shall leave money in the bank so i can use it at 2am in the worlds morning if i wish. I shall become my own clock and demand from myself only that i do whatever needs to be done at a time that is suitable to me. I am removing times domination in my world and becoming comfortable with my own time and my own timings.

Lots of things have caused me to look at time this way, one of the problems I have had recently is having time alone, time to simply 'be me' and so in the age old manner of all women, with my perogatives set to 'changing my mind if I want to' I am taking some time off.